Latest LAD Banter

Whenever I'm out on the piss and see a dwarf, I always kiss them on the head and make a wish. BelieveinmagicdwarfsLAD

Ended up being too eager to save the queen. Not looking forward to seeing that penny again. Where'sItGone?LAD

On the train on the way to see my girlfriend (10/10, rosetintedglassesLAD) and some LAD who is listening to his ipod starts singing 'gonna find my baby gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight' cue 3 other random LADs continuing the song, with perfect harmonies and everything, before leaving the train at the next stop leaving all the passengers in awe. AfternoondelightLADS.

At a bucks party in Agnes Water and the younger brother of the bride (6/10) got so drunk he couldn't control his bodily functions. He was vomiting and pissing everywhere, and couldn't stand up. WankerOnThePissLAD

To the guy I just beat on FIFA 6-1 (Bayern Munich V Real Madrid) who despite being down to 9 men still played until the end. NEVERQUITLAD

A girl on my facebook (6/10 realisticLAD) had a status saying she's job hunting online, so another girl (generous 2/10) asks for "any good websites?". Cue me commenting with a porn site for her. AlwaysworthalookatpornLAD

In uni walking past a door and it flings open and knocks me... Saw a fine wench (9/10) took advantage of the situation and acted as if I was in pain. She offered her apologies. I told her I would forgive if she gave me her number. Acquired her number and a date is on the cards. OppurtunisticLAD

saw a big badge on the back of a taxi on the way home saying 'unlike a wife, a dog is for life'. TheresareasontheremansbestfriendLAD

At the dinner table tonight with mum. She's asking about a fundraiser I'm going to for a horse riding club tomorrow night for this bird (7/10). After she's mentioned it, a shout comes through from the living room asking if I'd be "feeding the pony". Refused to tell my mum what it meant, stepdad feigned ignorance too. StepLAD

to the granLAD at work today commenting on some hip-hop on the radio: "sounds like rubbish, but I imagine the music video is better, just mute it and watch the LADies". loveshisMTVLAD.

Got a free drink off an australian bloke i didn't know in a club last night for motorboating a random fat bird. AnythingforadreedrinkLAD

I was un the break room today in the supermarket I work at when one of the managers comes in with his lunch he just bought in a plastic bag. He pulled out the usual crisps sandwiches and drink but the final part was a big pack of those chocolate mini eggs. Some one asked him if he bought the for his kids, his reply was "no, they are for me. I fucking love them". He demolishes the whole bag there and then. MiniegglovingmanagerLAD

This one goes out to Gordon King; a war veteran who attacked an organised gang as they attempted to hold up an armoured truck. When asked about it he said: "They could have had a knife or a gun, but instinct took over. Unfortunately my stick broke..." NofearveteranLAD

5 minutes before the football starts, the wife leaves the 5 year old with me! Cue the longest game of hide and seek he's ever played. TruedadLAD

To the absolute transit van LAD, who drove passed a traffic warden putting a ticket on a car and shouted to him "oi, dick head!" and then through a yellow pages at him, it hit him right in the face and floored him. dontmesswithatransitcanLAD.