Pushing my wheelchair-bound grandLAD back from the footy and an 8/10 lass walked past us in the opposite direction. GrandLAD made us stop and turn him right around so he could clock her 9/10 arse as she walked away. LAD

Last night was a big night for me as I got to finally use the wall straps (fiftyshadesLAD) while the girlfriend sucked me off. Basically you drill these wall straps onto the wall and then whack your hands so they're tied and away you go. Well, I was enjoying myself so much I leant forward ever so lightly and in the process broke the straps, almost breaking my girlfriends neck and taking a shit load of plaster off the wall. ProbablytimetohitthegymLAD

Eurovision is the best night of the year. EurovisionLAD.

Just found out that these two are both Londoners, so imagine what could have been with an England front line of Ade Akinfenwa and Ade Akinbiyi, both in their prime... wouldhavehadthe2006worldcupsewnupLAD, materazziwouldnthavechattedshitothemLAD

Found a keeper last night , after giving me a blowjob and swallowing my load she then proceeded to squeeze my willy like a frube and get the last drop out finishyourfoodLAD

Was out last weekend with the LADs and it saw the birth of a new WingLADding technique. One of the boys was cracking on with a girl (5/10) but her friends kept trying to pull her away. Queue a LAD in our group (big fella who rarely pulls) jumping in between our mate and her friends and holding out his arms á la Saracen from GLADiators and successfully preventing their cock blocking attempts. BeefBlockLAD

Is it weird that I am put off a girl i'm close to because she has the same surname as me? curiousLAD

Any other LADs hate it when pornstars scream like they're getting their legs cut off. Tone it down a bit LADies trytohaveawankhereLAD

I always wonder why porn video are made any longer than 5 minutes. Takes me about 30 seconds from start to finish. PrematureLAD

Today is World Whiskey Day, invented last year by a student from Aberdeen. He said the only continent not to celebrate the event last year was Antarctica. EveryoneloveswhiskeyLAD

Turns out that if a girl friend zones you, it's not appropriate to shag her best friend who is up for it. whoknewLAD.

Went out last night to a student night. Went to pull a bird and started dancing only to pull my calf muscle (recovering in the first place). LiterallypullsamuscleLAD

Pre Soccer AM bacon run this morning to Sainsbury's. Dyslexic tannoy announcer made my day... 'This. Week. Saw. The. Release. Of...' '... Les miserables. Pick. Up. Your. Copy. Today.' Les Miserables pronounced lez miserables (English). GrandLAD looks over... 'Great film that lez miserables'. BaconrunLAD

Was having a family meal last night for mums birthday, grandma was talking about how mum had had a mental party when she was fifteen when she herself was away, she spoke about how 'pictures got smashed' 'ornaments were broken' and last but not least how 'her back door got smashed in', leaving the whole family in absolute stitches and grandma wondering what we were laughing at, moment of pure comedy gold! innuendoLAD

Just watched Andrew Marr's History of the world. There was a true story about a builder in ancient Egypt called Paneb. He was on trial for grave robbing, being drunk and disorderly, sleeping with the wife of his boss... and then the daughter of his boss. On that day, around 5000 years ago, the LAD was born. PanebLAD.

Wish I could get a girl back to mine using one of my bands lyrics, but I think growling in her face should come after she is back. MetalLAD.

I cried at the end of Lost, when Jack died. LostLAD

Got with a lass in York when visiting a mate at uni. Back at Leeds the next week i got with this other lass who added me the next day on facebook. Turns out the first girl was her sister. whoknewLAD

So much pussying about and playacting in the Copa Del Rey final, get yourselves down the Brittania on a windy tuesday night and then you'll know a tackle. SoftAsShiteSpanishShitLADs

Spent most of the morning/early afternoon in bed feeling a bit sorry for myself. Just got sent a video from my mate of me running down the street shouting "I am Thor, the God of thunder" and telling the "mere mortals" to direct me to a "place to quench my thirst". ExplainsalotLAD