Sometimes I like to stand in the shower with my clothes on and pretend I'm in a submarine that's been hit.....DampLAD

Broke up with this bird after seeing her for a few months. Noticed the next day that her facebook status had changed to 'Its complicated'. Sent a text telling her, in no uncertain terms, there was fuck-all complicated about it. ToThePointLAD

Bought a breathalyser so that me and the LADS can go for personal blood/alcohol bests every weekend. athleteLADS

I was out last night with a few of the LADs, went to metros and pulled this 6/10 (truthfulLAD) However I had not bargained on the Karate Kid (original ofc) being shown on the big screens, ditched the girl and watched the end of the film with my mates. qualityviewingLAD

Out of uni 3 hours early today due to lecturer being off (lucky LAD) Walking toward the bus with my mate, who drives, I mention my fifa 11 arrived yesterday. He then said 'Fifa? Why didn't you say so?' And gave me a lift home. He lives 30 miles in the opposite direction from me. What a LAD.

Currently on my second day of a French language course in the south of France, it lasts for 4 weeks. So my French isn't top notch but from what I can gather, my host family are very religious. I don't think they're going to like the fact that I've already shagged their 7/10 daughter after 'showing me round the town'. What's French for 'Awkward LAD'?

My old man got my sister to re-arrange her 18th birthday plans as he's gone to watch the ryder cup this weekend. golfmadDADLAD

When showering in the morning, i take extra care to thoroughly wash my penis just incase i end up getting a surprise suck. Hopeful&HygienicLAD

I think most woman are really sweet. I care about their feelings. TrueLAD.

Just spent over an hour in the bank playing with the swirly abacus for kids while the mrs sorted out her financey bollocks. EasilyamusedLAD

At Uni, the fire brigade are doing a demostration on driving whilst pissed (terminologyLAD). Anyway they ask for three volunteers (two girls and a LAD), one girl gets asked to be the driver and before any decision has been made, the LAD shouts out shotgun, and hops into the front seat, even though in the demostration the car didn't move. GettingHisPrioritiesRightLAD

My local barber has a 42 inch HD TV in his shop, complete with a PS3, leather sofas and FIFA all for the customers use while waiting. BARBER LAD.

Whenever I get a new racing game, I always crash the car, just to see what happens. LAD

I'm a pub landlord and took a few of my mates to a beer festival to sample a few ales all in the name of work. While getting served I got stuck talking to one of the most boring beer tickers (CamraLAD) but being polite I kept my landlord head on and chatted to the guy. My mate however doesn't suffer fools so well and leant between us and said to the guy serving "I'll have what he's having if it makes you talk like a cunt." NomessingLAD

Dressed as a Smurf last night, so finally got to use the immortal chat up line; 'Hey Baby, ever seen a Smurf's penis?'. Worked too. GargamelaintgotshitonmeLAD

On a footy boys stayaway to Porthcawl in South Wales a few years ago, the plan was to meet back at the mini bus at 12 midnight to go home, anyone not there would be left behind! on this trip there is a guy nicknamed 'Son Of God', so needless to say he misses the bus at 12. The rest of the boys leave without him. The next day one of the boys gets a phonecall from 'Son Of God', he explains that he's at Bridgend police station, when asked why, he replies, "well the thing is i missed the bus (no shit), and didn't want to spend the night in Porthcawl somewhere, so I thought it would be a good idea to find a way of getting home" (without any money this is hard). the only form of transport available was......horse. as a result he was arrested by the police attempting to ride horseback home along the M4. Jenna-Wyn LAD

just handed in my notice at work, and put 'so long fuckaars' as the subject in the email.. sackedbeforeicouldquitLAD.

50 no's and a yes is still a yes, persistantLAD

My best mate asked me if he could shag my slag of an ex because "she's dead easy nowadays, and I really wanna cum in a lasses face". PermissionGrantedLAD

Czech Pubs .. sit down..slap a beer mat on the table ..beer starts flowing .. reaching the last gulp next one is already poured and on its way over ..once you’ve had your fill give the nod, pay up and off on your happy way. LifeshouldbesimpleLADs