I just received a text from a friend telling me how her day had been. It ended with "I cooked dinner for my housemates and now they're making me watch them play fifa". She's clearly living with LADS.
Moved to the States from England a few years ago, been dying for certain home comforts...the deli next to my office just started stocking Crunchies, Maltesers and Lion bars. LifesavingLADS
Went to the ballet the other night,GenerousLAD, in the hopes of finally shagging this girl. We sit and watch this thing for about three hours. I walk her home, and she gives me a peck on the fucking cheek. Pissed offLAD. I started walking home and bumped into the girl who worked at the theatre. Ended up at her place, totally pissed and fucked her twice. To top it off, she told me in the morning: "Just so you know: No strings." WellpleasedLAD.
In Magaluf this summer was in a strip club wit the LADs, saw a fat LAD appraoch a table of blokes and drop his shorts saying 'hi guys i will be your stripper for the evening' before being frog marched out by two bouncers to a loud applause from all the LADs. sacraficetitsforbanterLAD
Was out with the Uni LAD's last night when I managed to loose them by the end of the night. After drunkenly walking around for a while I find this girl beyond drunk and didn't know how to get home. Manage to find out where she lives and proceeded to walk her home(ChivalryLAD). Not gonna lie, didn't get a blowjob or a shag but she made me a bacon roll when we got in. ThinkIveFoundAKeeperLAD!
It was my birthday 2 weeks ago. Best mate LAD is in the marines and was going to Afghan a few days after. He fucked off his family and girlfriend to come and celebrate my birthday with the LADs. Carlsberg don't make LADs but if they did... LAD.
Played rugby today, just before the scrum, as the ref shouts touch, pause engage, i shout "feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, get on up it's scrumming time!" CoolRunningsLAD
Saw a question in NewScientist (educatedLAD) about the best use for a 3story house where the the top floor was 20 degrees warmer than the bottom. After all the sciencsy shitLADs there was one LADs answer of "brew beer on top floor, store beer on bottom floor" ScienceforbeerLAD
i use power tools just because i can even if the job doesnt need it so women can see that fixing things is mans business. womenknowyourplaceLAD
Was in Liverpool for a random night out (EssexLADSontour), fairly well oiled up after heavy night in Cardiff the night before, go to this random club, chatting 2 couple of 5/10 birds (generous) when in walks this midget, dressed in full outfit as a smurf! Cue biggest belly laughs of the weekend and couple of beers from us to the wee blue guy for making the night. SelfdeprecatinglegendLAD!
President of Russia gets a calendar of 12 birds (10/10) from Moscow uni for his birthday. -vLADimir putin. LAD
gave blood the other day (caring LAD) and the nurse asked if I minded a trainee nurse doing the deed, after eyeing up a fairly hot nurse (normally about 6, but being a nurse brining it up to 7) standing in the corner, I reply, yeah, why not?. After that a huge hulk of a woman with a husky voice came over and took my blood... FAILLAD!
Got a big night out tonight with uni. Just peeled back my bed covers, put a pint of water next to my bed, set my alarm, left 2 paracetamol on my desk and optimistically put a glow in the dark condom under my pillow. cos-you-never-know-LAD
5 years ago I had my first year in uni. I love doing pranks and generally being a bit of LAD. After a week or so, I carefully broke into the girls floor and went to their showers. I silently removed the shower head and crumbled in an oxo cube. Next morning the screams were deafening at 7am as one of the girls, who ha thick curly hair, had woken up early as she had to give a presentation to her class. The girls then refused to acknowledge me for about a month. This was my proudest moment of uni by far. mmmbistoLAD
Genuine quote from my A Level PE textbook. "Michael Phelps eats 12'000 calories a day, the average calorie consumption for a male is 2'500 calories per day. Morning: A bowl of grits, three fried egg sanwhiches with cheese tomatoes, lettuce, fried onions and mayonnaise. A five egg omelette, three sugar-coated slices of egg covered bread, three chocolate-chip pancakes and two cups of coffee. Lunch: Half-kilo of enriched pasta, two large ham and cheese sandwhiches with mayonnaise on white bread and energy drinks. Evening: Half-kilo of pasta with carbonara sauce and bacon, a large pizza and energy drinks. HungryLAD!
After a night out in the town i meet this 6 maybe 7/10 girl and after abit decide to go back to her house. I had never meet her before and was tottaly plastered. Woke up the next morning, had a look out the window to try and figure out where i was when to my confusion i realised i was in my best mates house. turns out I shagged his cousin who was visiting. shouldntgettodrunktorealisewho'swhosehouseyouaregoingintoLAD
LADmate walks into tesco's absolutely wrecked and asks a member of staff what the best food for drunk people are. He wakes up in the morning with a pot noodle & some oreos. EveryLittleHelpsLAD
Talking about best ever sex experiences with my mates I told them about how a few years ago, taking girlfriend home after a night at out, we got food and proceeded to walk. We started messing about and went down behind two parked cars, anyway she asked for me to put it her bum whilst over a car bonnet whilst eating my kebab. NevergoingtohavebettersexLAD
I'm from up north but at uni in london. Every now and again my dad comes down for a 'business conference' when infact we spend the entire weekend getting lashed, before he heads back home on the sunday with my mum none the wiser! DadLAD.
Last night at the union at uni i pulled this girl and managed to take her back to my room. When we got back i put on the special playlist that i had carefully constructed. We got to it and based on my playlist i judged it just perfect. As i started to bang her, the song 'pow' by lethal bizzle came on as i had predicted so i started thrusting to the beat. As we had started already she didnt stop me, but did give me a slap afterwards, and is probably telling every girl to stay away from me, was still worth it. By sylo. PlanningmakesperfectLAD.
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