Couldn't pay my water bills so I used a can of deodorant every morning for a month. UrbanShowerLAD

Missed the weekends action because it was a friends birthday and was out on Sunday. Since Monday morning all I have thought about is MOTD2 on at midnight Tuesday on bbc iplayer. It is now up and I can finally see Almunia and Arsenals dismal display from Sat. WorthitLAD

My 80 year old grandad broke his elbow at a wedding last year. May sound bad until realising that it was due to him being so pissed at 3 in the morning that he mistook the shower for the toilet and slipped in his own piss. stilldoesn'tknowwhentosaynoLAD.

Just left my sleeping girlfriend on chatroulette for half an hour. SomethingForTheBoysLAD

Dad's on way home from holiday, sent the following text..."don't forget to delete the internet history on the laptop, in case your mother sees" knowsthescoredadLAD

I was sat watching TV with a female friend (8/10) who told me she liked the iPhone advert with the LADs celebrating to their injured teammate over the "facetime" feature. I proceeded to tell her, in depth, how only shitLADs miss a match, regardless of injury. CorrectionLAD

Just had a lovely creamy smooth wank upstairs on the bed using girlfriends night cream (L70 a jar) whilst she is downstairs with her mum who's crying after losing her job. Wonder if she will notice the 'knob' shaped hole in the jar later. Oh well, shithappensLAD.

I read all the australianLADs posts in the voice of the two blokes from the fosters advert. TOMMOLAD

big tits dont count on fat birds, harshLAD

Girlfriend talking about my sexual obsession.."The only time i've stayed over and you havnt tried sleeping with me is when you passed out naked in the garden" LAD

A while back i was sitting an exam, The strictest exam modulators in the world watching over us. I finished with a Good few minutes to spare, i start quietly singing All of the day and all if the night - The Kinks to myself, seconds later this modulator bitch is right up in my face threatning to fail my whole exam. My mate notices this happening, and very loudly starts singing the same song. Soon all my freinds are singing, as well as most of the class. We resit the test with no punishments given, i even got an A. BestmatesarealwaysthereLAD

I find shorter girls more attractive, cause i think they would make my cock look massive WorkingWithwhatHe'sGotLAD

Me n my ex started as usual with some heavy petting I then decided to go straight in for the kill, as I was expecting my sister & my mum home within the next 10 mins. I got caught up in the moment and being a novice at the time I just whipped her panties off and dived in with my already rock solid willy. My school boy error was diving in with out any moisture...It felt like fucking rubber on tarmac. Anyways after a good 20/30 hip thrusts it does eventually gets very wet. After only a few minutes I felt I was going to blow my load so I pull out and start kissing her neck and start to think of bad bad thoughts to try n persuade my load to back the fuck off. Eventually I'm ready to head back in, I grab my penis, line it up, and wham I'm in again. I bring my hand back up out the covers and wipe the sweat off my forehead and then proceed to thrust away. I look at my gf in the eyes and fucking give it to her...all of a sudden "STOP!"...she pushes me off and points out that I have a massive blood smear on my forehead. I look down at my nob and its fucking COVERED IN BLOOD. I immediately thought it was her period but at closer inspection I realised I snapped my fucking banjo...for some reason I get very fucking embarrassed and clutch my thigh "what's happened" she asks...."I think you must have ripped a scab off with your nails" I reply....I do not know why the fuck I said that, so I run out the room and into the bathroom to doctor the wound. It bled like a fucking bitch for at least a good 20 mins, I tore a small square of tp up n placed it over the split I then rolled my foreskin up (THANK FUCK IM NOT CIRCUMCISED) which acted like a fucking shield for next month. When I went back in she was standing there looking fucking scared to fuck with her knees up to her pussy covered in blood!!! lolz. I don't know how the fuck she believed it was just a scab coming off it looked like I fucking aborted a litter of 4 out of my bellend. My mother thinks the dinner table sized blood stains on the mattress is from a buddy hittin me in the nose while attempting to tombstone me. Novice@15LAD

Slipped over in the shower and broke my leg. Struggled on to the phone and called an ambulance. Was told the ambulance would be 25 min as it was a low priority call. Decided to endure the pain, got to the fridge, grabbed some beers and made it to the tv. Watched match of the day until the ambulance came. DedicatedtoMOTDLAD.

just setting off to visit my mate who lives in halls of residence and as i leave my room, i hear a load of cheers from Girls & Boys i continue walking because i dont want to look back. all of a sudden this guy comes darting past, streaking down the street .. i laughed as he jogged to the end of the street and came back as he did he acknowledged me and said.. "Lost the pizza challenge, mate" i replied, good effort. MustBeTheBanterLAD!

the pensioner who transported a carpet on his mobility scooter down the road. ridingdirtyLAD

LAD housemate asked if I had a pencil he could borrow. I gave him a pen - real LADs don't make mistakes. ConfidentLAD

When I get new football boots I still wear them round the house until I use them. youngatheartLAD

Hallam vs Uni Bar Crawl Challenges: Snog a rival uni member, photo with Nikki Grahame, get on Sheff TV, swap an item of clothing. Pulled a solid 5/10, picture sorted, on TV standing on top of a table chanting at the Uni and got a bra for my boxera and won one of the Event Challenges contributing to a 4-1 win. HallamLAD

The sun writers, who put Cher Lloyd's article on page 3. they know where she should be LAD's