Playing board game on Christmas evening with the family. A question comes up asking 'If you could have any, what superpower would you have?' When it comes to him, my little brother, without batting an eyelid, comes out with 'Every girl that touches me want to have sex with me'. Should have seen the mother's face. KnowswhatitsallaboutLAD.
football on the tarmac at lunch today(lovesthegameLAD) with the fellas, banter flying around and all that when the ball is floated into the box, and I leap like a salmon diving head first towards the ball... I missed the ball by 2 inches, fell flat on the tarmac smashing my face, hands, forearms and elbows on the surface. Received applause from the other LADS as I got straight up without saying a word, brushed myself off and cantered back to defend. Committed to the game til the end coz I love it too much. DoesntComplainJustCommittedToTheGameLAD
According to model Tasha de Vasconcelos, when she met Prince Charles at a charity event, he sidled up to her and said "Would you ever consider a private catwalk show... just for me?" RoyalLAD.
Whilst reading up on the latest snooker news on BBC Sport, I came across something very disturbing. Within the story, the following line appeared: BBC director of sport Barbara Slater said.... How can this be correct? A woman is the director of sport for the BBC? How ridiculous!! wealllovewomenbutnotinsportLAD
In the car with my dad, casually driving along at the limit of 50 when some 2/10 beast overtakes him. Without thinking my old man absolutely floors it to 100mph once we get to a straight road, purely to overtake her and says to me "I'm not being overtaken by a woman, they can't drive" dadLAD.
out at a bar for a mates birthday, all sitting around the table having a nice chat. accidently drop my phone on the floor and went under the sofa's where we were sitting. bent down to look for it and found two crates of bottled beer stashed under the seats. dont know what they were doing there but they were well hidden. anyway break a hole in the side of the crate and hand out free beers all night without the staff knowing. BdayBeersOntheclubLADs
got thrown out of a football match for attempting to get a policeman to join our conga line dododoLAD
Harry Redknapp saying David Beckham needs to work on his crossing if he is to make it in the game. FunnyLAD
I work in currys fixing computer hard drives(techygeekLAD) and some youngLAD comes in about 14 asking if i can remove the safe search for free as he wants to look at 'you know what' as the LAD put it. Not only did I remove the safe search i also showed him how to delete his history. doingmybitforafellowLAD
Just been given personalised business cards at work. shewontforgetmynumberLAD
On a night out, me and my flat mate see this easy 9/10, on her own by the bar (punchingaboveweightLAD). He dares me to try to chat her up, by comparing her in some way to my dog..I have a chihuahua... The task seems impossible but using my wit I carefully approach and tell her 'hey you.. you've got something in common with my dog'! She's shocked, and looks as if she's just about to slap me when I give her a cheeky wink and tell her 'you're cute'! Cut to the chase, I buy her a drink and get her on the dance floor. Moments later we're grinding and she drags me out of the club and back to halls...Do the deed, get her number and plan to meet her again!! My flat mate is immensely shock, but immensely proud!! ihaveaChihuahuaforawingmanLAD!
I was on the bus today and the same shitLAD who stole my phone last month in town got on and didn't recognise me, he took it out my pocket at the bar and ran away. Regardless, he proceeded to sit a seat in front of me totally unaware. I whisper to my bestLAD who he was and what he had done. Before I could even finish my sentance, bestLAD jumps out his seat throws off his coat and grabs shitLAD by the neck and demands my phone back. shitLAD hands over his phone and wallet, which included a provisional license which I've handed over to the police who have confirmed they will follow the matter up. BusWankerLAD
Me and two other LADs were walking round sixth form during lunch, and a teacher comes up to one of the LADs and says 'hi mate, we're in the computer room next ok'. When he was a decent distance away we give it the 'frieendd, teacherfriend, frieend'. Without hesistation, said teacher turns around and shouts 'I'm not his fucking friend!' TeacherLAD
Just reading through my lectures notes on gender and sexuality in 20th Century Britain and apparantly noted from my lecturer that 'feminism is now coming under attack from the popularity of 'LADs mags'. KeepUpTheGoodWorkLADS
To the absolute heroLADs who are responsible for the design (and somehow the actual successful publishing) of the following corporate brands http://tinyurl.com/34g52yg sackthemarketingguyLAD
Doing work experience in a primary school this week. I was in the infants class yday chatting to a liitleLAD when out of nowhere comes out with "I saw my Mum poo in my Daddy's face!" He started laughing about it, but i wasnt sure if he was joking or not, flabberghastedLAD
slept with the daughter of the drummer from a famous 80s pop band two nights ago. upon learning this what followed was the best line to ever leave my mouth, several times - too far. i'll let you LADs work it out. wetwetwetLAD
Having a few beers @ 2pm on a Wednesday afternoon whilst playing on FIFA. On my own as the other LADs are working. makingthemostoflifeLAD!
I first dicovered that I can see into my 9/10 neighbour's bedroom from my bathroom the other night she was being ploughed by a punchingabovehisweightLAD... me and the 8/10 (8.5/10 with sexface) made eye contact as i was sniffing the bog-roll that was cleaning up my Jalfrezi-shit from the night before... she pulled the blind down. multitaskingvoyeurLAD
Alexander of Clement : a woman should feel nothing but shame simply at the thought that she is a woman. BiblicalbanterLAD
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