Dad had a few too many one night. Ended up getting challened to a race from one end of the carpark to the other. Dad accepts the challenge forgetting he is 30 years after prime. Race starts, has a good start, and suprises me by pulling ahead. Just before finish line he goes over in agony. Turns out he snapped both of his hanstrings. UsainBoltLAD
went down on my girlfriend on her families dinner table. then later when her parents got back, had steak on the same table. doubledinnerLAD
Was up in fort William not long ago, was popping into every pub with a friend of mine trying to find somewhere that was showing the David haye vs Audrey Harrison fight. Got to the last pub (determinedLAD) and it was bad news, turns out they couldn't afford it (chinupLAD). Anyway, we decided to have a pint and noticed skysports news was on and the weigh in was being showed live, so we pulled up a couple of chairs and watched. It didn't take long for me to notice that the two blokes sat to our left were absolute units, anyway I'm not one to forget a face and it just so happened that Derek chisorra and Sam sexton were sat watching with us. My mate (bigbolloxLAD) gets out of his chair walks over to derek and asks him to introduce himself, five minutes later after shaking hands with 'em both, offering to buy them both a drink (properLAD) and watching the weigh in, bigbolloxLAD tries his luck, gets a photo of them with me and as we're leaving shouts, "Oi Derek are they your mrs' !?!?" he was only wearing a pair of man uggs (poorjudgementLAD) haha anyway we quickly scarpered but it was so worth having to run to the next pub. And I bloody hope he wins this weekend so my photo goes from me and British heavy weight champ to me and world heavy weight champ. So this is a thank you to my mate (bigbolloxLAD) and as he seems to always say, "if you don't ask you don't get" but that's another story. (cheekyfuckingbastardLAD)
When Someone offers me a bite of something, I'll take the biggest bite possible. bettheywishtheyhadn'tofferedLAD
I work at Nandos, there was a couple in who had ordered their food and were sitting down waiting for it. They started arguing really loudly and it was getting awkward for everyone. The woman started screaming at him and stormed out. The LAD just stayed and ate both their meals..LAD.
Footy with the LADS last week, as normal we played Shirts Vs Skins even after clearing the snow of the pitch. ItsNotThatColdLADS
couple of years ago i was used by a girl (LuckyLAD) and left handcuffed to her bed when she left for work. at about 12 her flatmate (TrueLAD) came home and cut the handcuffs off, gave me some clean clothes, a shower, a beer, and a game of fifa. one thing led to another and noe he is about to be my bestLAD at my wedding tomorrow. EveryCloudHasALAD
Was in Mcdonalds today and surprisingly there was a decent cashier (6/10) I placed my usual order or 20 chicken mcnuggets (LAD) and I got chatting with her as well. I sat down and opened my meal to find she had only gone and given me 25 instead of 20. InWithAChanceLAD.
My mate told me that those call centre people have to pay for the calls they make to you. So i thought of a game. How many bullshit facts can you tell them before they hang up. YouPayForMyFunLAD.
Not a rich LAD so get to uni having to share a room. walk in and see a LAD in the room playing on his ps3. He tells me that nobody could ever beat him at fifa so i tell him that if he wins i'll pay for all drinks for a week and if he wins he pays for them. A 7-0 win and two days and 36 pints later i'm just getting started. dontmakebetsyourwalletcantcoverLAD
the look on your ex girlfriends face when she finds out your banging her close cousin. RunsInTheFamilyLAD
Just spent the last 5 hours using every single lego brick he owns to create a monster castle, complete with defending and attacking forces. Might-be-20-but-i-know-how-to-spend-my-day-off-work-LAD
was walking in bournemouth town centre, and noticed that there was a giant ice slide that had no one lining up for it. Que the bored steward running the slide going up sliding down it then doing it over and over again until some one came and had a go. IceSlidingStewardLAD
In a restaurant with missus last Valentine's Day, when I overheard the conversation to my left when this DonLAD says 'well if you are not going to put out, then what's the point' as he stands up and leaves this distraught girl to pick up the bill. HarshbutfairLAD
Been working as a supply teacher, had my Mum's homemade pea soup for tea last night. Spent each lesson dropping some horrendous farts before moving onto the next group, watching the kids blame each other. Pea Soup LAD.
My housemates and I had a house party recently (studentLADS), decided that we would all chip in and make a punch for general consumption in a 5 litre washing up bowl. Put in it a bottle of vodka, bottle of gin, half a bottle of vermouth, and a quarter of a bottle of 57% rum, along with a couple of fruit juice mixers. Anyway, as the night progresses, and we're all pretty smashed, one of my housemates then gives me the bowl and tells me to chug it (about a quarter of the bowl left) I then proceed to chug the entire thing, and then proceeded to walk around with the empty bowl on me head as a trophy. ChuggingbanterLAD
Broke my wrist and was out of the washing up game for 6 weeks so my missus had to fulfil the duties. Went to the doctor last week who said it was fine to come off but convinced I could do with another 6 weeks as I was still feeling a lot of pain. Then I bought some rubber gloves for the missus on the way home to rub it in. Nowashingupfor6moreweeksLAD.
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