My mate (BitTooNerdyLAD) got absolutely fucked on a night out with the LADs. Anyway, we soon realise we've lost him. Most of us go out to look for him, turn into an alley to find him getting a blowwey off an 8/10 Lap dancer. NotNerdyNowLAD.
As my grandad has just retired he decided he wanted to go on more walks, he broke in his new walking boots by going to 5 different pubs and having a pint at each one KnowsHowToDoAWalkingTripGrandLAD
Someone anonymously posted this on my formspring - "Isn't sex supposed to mean something? Did you gain anything from sleeping with Harriet.." I replied with, "A bed for the night." LAD
Sometimes I tell a woman they are a 10 when in fact I'm speaking in binary. MathmaticaLAD
teacher at my school (6formLAD) got caught printing photos of naked women off and puttin them in a folder. MakingTheMostOfSchoolTimeLAD
to the Watford DonLADs who after saving a elderly woman and her pets from a fire were interviewed 'we weren't scared though, we're from mill end'. ProudLADs
Just found out at a new years party out mine, a mate of mine, who had just broken up with his girlfirend just before christmas, got lucky with two people. They were both twins. They didn't find out till the morning when he dropped them off home. luckyLAD
I got my first proper girlfriend when i was 17, went out for a couple of years, i thought everyone was going great until i found out she was cheating on me. Anyway we got chatting the other day on facebook and she said it would be good to meet up for a drink to catch up, i agreed. I named a bar in town and gave her a time to meet. She just text me asking where am i...me? at home with a beer and playing blacks ops. fuck off. LAD
Girlfriend just told me "we left my dad and uncle to book our holiday for this summer and they've chosen the villa based on how pretty the owner is." knowwhattheywantfromaholidayLADs
some leaver drew a cock on the roof of our school about 30 feet long, and only got found out because of google maps. wellhungLAD
Current unemployedLAD, spend alot of time looking at various job sites to not much success. Whilst scrolling through the other day I noticed a sales job for some big pharmaceutical company with a basic salary of 150k a year. I clicked apply and sent of my CV boasting a paper round and a few years working in a shop, attached with a covering letter saying why they needed to hire me and how much money I was going to make for them. alansugarinthemakingLAD
In my Biology A level class today, one girl asks "Is it true that semen has 20,000 calories every teaspoon?" to which the teacher responds "That's why my wife's so fat!" TeacherLAD
made a girl throw up because she deepthroated- HUNGLAD
A week ago me and some bestLADS were having a drink down the local. While I go out for a cig some chavvy shitLAD smacks my bestLAD. Unknown to shitLAD I'd seen the whole thing. As he ran out the door laughing his face hit my fist. Needless to say the whole pub was laughing at the little shiteLAD and he was left on the floor were he belonged. DontFuckWithMyLADsOrI'llFuckWithYouLAD
Pete Doherty back in 2005: "I'm 300 grand in debt. Why do you think I'm going out with Kate Moss?" LAD
Got head off a girl the other night who was on the blob but happy to satisfy me. She took my load and swallowed then went in for a kiss when i facepalmed her and told her to go brush her teeth. DoesntWantThemJuicesBackLAD
I was abroad in napa and this girl is onit like tramps on chips. A guy in heels stood on my ankle and i stumbled off to the toilet to look at the damage. Next thing girl follows me in i quickly push her into cubicle pull my pants down strate in the mouth and bends over the toilet and against the wall. Leave the toilet her mate comes asking for her i tell her shes having a poo and just leave... HollidaysexLAD
Last year I got really drunk at a mates house and woke up in the morning and asked my mate what happened. He said he didnt know but I was in a bedroom upstairs for ages with an 8/10. Later on when I was in the shower, looked down and I had a massive love bite on my shoulder, looked like an axe wound. confusedLAD
My dad just told me a story how a few years after WW2, my grandad was playing in a football match and broke his leg in two places. Anyway he goes off and gets a shitload of morphine (left over form the war) injected into him then is put upfront as although he can barely move, it will take an oppenent out of the game by marking him. WouldntCatchHimWearingASnoodLAD
At uni me and my mate had shagged all but one of the girls from the opposite flat between us. We were desperate to get the 'full house' (shitpunLAD) and we decided whoever laid the last one (6/10 ginger) is ultimateLAD. Unfortunately my mate ended up taking her back to ours a couple of nights ago, and I was understandably gutted (competitiveLAD). But the battle wasn't lost yet- I sneaked into his room whilst he was working his magic on her in the living room... I filled about 6 rubbers with mayo and left them around the floor, smeared marmite in his pants and left them on his bed, and left porn playing on his laptop. I heard the front door go soon after, and the race for the 'full house' is still on... ultimatecockblockLAD
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