I work in a home improvement shop. Got a call from a woman (must be calling from the kitchen to ask about kitchen stuff) asking about toilets. Said I could help her, she asked for an industrial toilet. All our toilets are pretty similar, so I asked what she needed an industrial one for. She said my son keeps breaking them and I am sick of replacing them, and wondered if there was a better/more sturdy one. To that LAD, congratulations toiletdestroyerLAD
Was out in town with the boys last night, end up pulling this 8/10 properly happy with myself, wake up this morning and to my horror i get the feeling the girl im lying there with has eaten the original one. BeergogglesfuckedmeLAD
Going around a council estate on a weekday morning dressed in a suit pretending to be a bailiff is a great way to get free blow-jobs. thegreatpretenderLAD
Got pissed last night and found a recording of me and 4 mates holding our cans of Fosters in the air singing: 'You are my Fosters, My only Fosters, You make me happy, When skies are grey, You'll never know just, How much I love you, So please don't take my Fosters away.' Then downed them all. EmotionalDrinkerLADS.
At a house party last night with the LADs, it gets to about 1ish and a few of us decide a trip to McDonalds is in order. We get there and turns out its only 24 hour DriveThru. However, being as hungry as we were, decide to try our luck with a human car. LAD at the DriveThru window is pissing himself but says he can't serve us because of insurance reasons, but will happily do so if we can find a car. Cue us rocking up at the same window 5 mins later in the back of a Land Rover. Nothing gets in the way of us and our food. DriveThruBantsLADs.
Went out the other night, pulled a 3/10, went back to hers and did the deed. Woke up hungover at half ten the next day, and made my stealthy exit (minus socks - Cold Feet LAD) Did the walk of shame in a dirty t-shirt, messy hair and hangover sweating, and wound up walking past the window of the classroom I was supposed to be in. I'm the teacher. LettingDownTheKidsLAD
Morning After a night out in town me and my mate drive my work van back to where we live in high-vis jackets shouting at anything that moved proper white van man style. VanLADS
After a 2 year gap I can officailly say I have crossed "Twins" off the list. LAD
Big meet up with the LADS tomorrow evening at Hooters. As it's all you can eat wings for Â£6.99, we're having a wing-off. Beer, chicken, tits, football (even if it is Irish) makethebestoutofmondaysLAD!!
Was about to help some girls move stuff into their flat. Then I saw that one was wearing a JLS hoodie and swiftly changed my mind. LAD.
At a pool party and found peoples phones lying by their stuff. Got one of the LADs phones and the phone of another girl, sent the same message to each phone from the other, "meet me in the shower-room, 15mins". Discretly let them both know they had a message. Sure enough 15 mins later they are at it in the shower and I've rounded up everyone else with camera's for their exit. LAD
on my year abroad in moscow (internationaluniLAD), meeting the foreign folk who live upstairs by singing their national anthem at them, knew the tune to italy, germany, belgium (surprisedmyselfLAD) and spain. then i met a korean guy. neverheardthekoreananthemLAD
Some guy was on the game show 'the cube'. He had to throw a small red ball through a hole in the wall and smash a piece of glass begin it. He told himself it was just like darts. On his first attempt he mumbled to himself 'treble 20, then the bull. We're down the pub ans we're having it.' He threw the ball, smash went the glass. First time LAD
My Birds first day on teacher training, walks down the hall to be barged out of the way by little LAD running shouting"get out of the way bitches this is a bust out" DillingerescapeLAD
Been working at a Big UK bank as an account manager for 10yrs, hate it, and finally handed my notice in, so leaving soon. Went into managers office, he has a box of business card with his name on which he hands to customers. Picked 5 or 6 cards out and under his name wrote "is a c**t", then randomly placed them back in the box, so every now and then he'll give a card out which stated that he is a c**t. Childish, but makes me feel good. LADSTSBhater.
Kevin davies and dietmar hamman were in a club in stoke couple of years back, they had been on a footy coaching course at keele uni which is in stoke. Being a Stoke fan i asked big kev 'what u doing here, are you signing for stoke?'. He smiled and replied 'no mate no', to which i replied 'thank fuck for that, you'd ave no chance of getting a shirt!'. He was gutted you could tell by his face but he tried hide it! I actually think hes a good player aswell to be honest. FamousandloadeddontbothermeLAD
Watching the cube on a Sunday eve, first contender couldn't be more of a LAD. Drives a JCB for a living, is wearing a bright pink checked shirt, he's overweight and brought his pub landlord along for support. gameshowLAD
On the rare occasion i use the sauna at my gym, I always have to be the last person to leave even if I'm dying inside. slowroastedLAD
Managed to convince a 42 year old milf to finger herself on webcam last night, little did she know 4 of my fellow LADS were watching in the background. The look of horror on her face when we put our webcam on after she finished (milfhuntingLADS)
Went out last weekend, ended up getting hammered. Got home and was locked out so i had to sleep in the front garden. Next morning a man was walking his dog saw me and called an ambulance. Got woken by a paramedic then went to work. (hungoverLAD)
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