Well I hope this cheers up all the LADS out there. Woken up with a stonking hangover feeling the usual terrible about myself state. Outside in just my boxers soaking some fresh air back with my brew and lo and behold, a bird shits straight on my stomach. LAD
Had the girlfriend bent over in the back seat doing the deed when out of no where notice a old man watching in the mirrors looking through the windows PervertLAD
I liked this girl (7.5/10) for a long time and we were really close until she friend zoned me and told me she had feelings for my bestLAD. Naturally, as any friend would, I swallowed my pain and wished my mate all the best. However my mate knew that I liked her for ages so didn't try anything with her. This tale of two LADs showing their mutual respect and loyalty may seem nice, but said girl is now sucking a random pikey's dick on the regular and has had a boob job. MoralsOverBitchesLADs
Girlfriend asked me what she looked like in her new dress. I told her she's now more of a 7/10 rather than a 6/10. InthedoghouseLAD fuckLADs
After watching "The Great Gatsby" I've decided to try and present myself with a bit more class, drink a lot more liquor, host stupidly lavish parties and overall try to achieve my dreams. I may also end up buying a three piece suit. Chances are I'll end up drinking cheap gin and wearing just a shirt. OldSportLAD
In all my years of pulling I have only ever had 1 wingman who actually helped. It happened in zante last year, saw 2 birds, nodded at another bloke nearby and we both went over and pulled them within 5 minutes. The only words I said in this were "Wingman?" and "Which one you want, Blonde or brunette?" WingmanLAD
Reaching the business end of the season with my girlfriend and began to reminisce about our first date. My mates asked how it went to which i replied 'I'd describe it as a boring 0-0 draw with no sides coming close to breaking the deadlock'. Everything can be described with football terms. CommentatorLAD
Gravity isn't going to stop what happening in my boxers thanks to that Ukrainian lass on Eurovision... Anti-gravityLAD
I'm not a softLAD but I have to admit seeing David Beckham walk off the pitch for the last time made me tear up GoldenBallsLAD
Jessica Ennis (7.5/10) just got married. Fair play to the lucky LAD but the rest of us are gutted. lovesasportylassLAD
Eurovision Commentary - "If you're offended by two girls kissing... you need to grow up." NowonderweneverwinLAD
To the FinnishLAD whose 8/10 Eurovision contestant missus wrote her song 'Marry Me' as a hint for him to propose. He still hasn't. wontberushedLAD.
Accomplished the impossible last night, found a girl that I know strumming herself to ecstasy on a cam site. Going to be hard to keep a straight face on the next time I see her! lifegoalLAD
Jonny Wilkinson adding Heineken Cup winner to his already brilliant career. HedoeswhathewantsLAD.
Congratulations to Bradford City who have had an amazing season. When they lost the league cup final they were 12 points behind the Play off places and now they just got promoted to League One. BradfordCityLADS
Don't you fucking hate wanking when you can hear another family member walking around the hallway outside dontcomeinLAD
Was having a nice wank to some kinky porn earlier and all of a sudden i got the answer in my head to a maths problem i have been trying to figure out all day, i wrote it down before finishing up wankingcuresallLAD
Keith Chegwin on twitter 'How lovely - I'm being followed by @jessicaalba - I'm a happy Chegwin' absolutely brilliant chegwinLAD
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