I once got dumped by a girl (7/10) because she'd seen some fortune teller who told her to. MentalbitchLAD

"can I play?" "dunno, it's not my ball" PlaygroundbanterLAD

I had a mate who worked in Canada as a ski instructor. Now because it's Canada and because it's a ski slope there's a lot of weed smoking going on and it can often be smelled from the chairlift. My mate coached kids around 6 years old and they often asked "what is that smell?". Rather than explain to these innocent minds that drugs were being smoked he just said that he didn't know what the smell was and he would ask the kids what they thought the smell was. One time the kids answered "it smells like fires!" another said "it smells like BBQs!" and one kid once said "it smells like my uncle steve!" UnclesteveLAD

Today is the day I feel I've finally become a true man. Its been 13 fun but exhausting years, but I have finally managed to stop moving to the S club beat. Ain'tnopartylikeanSclubpartyLAD

I have this 2/10 girl pretty much begging to get with me. I've come up with. Umpteen excuses including this weekends "I just wanna try different stuff. Like threesomes.. but to my horror she agrees.. what do to??

Doesn't matter what sort of video I start out watching on pornhub, 90% of the time I will end up finishing up with a MILF video. ForegoneconclusionLAD

Just watched the women's version of The Queen's Tennis tournament, and there's a 16 year-old Croatian in the final. She's legal, and a 7/10 already. OneforthefutureLADS

While getting a landslide goodLAD on your banter is great, there is something about dividing the opinion of the LADs and getting fairly equal good and shit LADs. FirmButFairLAD.

How do gayLADs do it? I wiped too hard after a shit yesterday and my arsehole is still on fire. couldnottakeabummingLAD

Iron Maiden requested a Spitfire do a fly past at Download festival in tribute to those in the RAF serving abroad.ultimatemetalDONLADS

My dad could have your dad! PlaygroundbanterLAD

quote from my dad LAD. 'it was a bit like that song lost in France, except we we're abbeydale and id had 13 pints of tetley's. tetleyslovingdadLAD

I met this guy whilst travelling who had to have a haircut and a shave before he was allowed to cross the boarder into vietnam because he looked nothing like his passport photo. hardcoretravellingLAD

Saw Jimmy Bullard in town tonight. Asked him for a photo and he told me to fuck off. ThoughHeWasALAD ChangedOpinion ShitLADToHisFans

Just some advice for the LADs, if you preorder your ps4 from amazon they don't charge your card until they despatch it. Just ordered mine because i assume due to the xbox ones' big flop getting a ps4 will be a blood battle. prioritiessortedLAD

There was a new Polish fella who started at my work recently who seemed a littke quiet. Started a conversation with him that was a bit awkward until for some strange reason Mariusz Pudzianowski (polish former worlds strongest man) came into my head and his eyes suddenly lit up and he spent a good half hour telling me about him. YoumaythinkChannel5isshitbutworldsstrongestmanisagoodshowLAD

Going all soppy here for a bit LADs, whenever you're a bit down in the dumps etc yeah it's hard, but at least you're living, We could all be a lot worse off. Life's a gift LAD

Got into a friends with benefits situation with my 7/10 flatmate (riskymoveLAD) and warned her from the start it would never be more than that. Ironically, i ended up wanting more from it and she gave me the "this is only sex" line. GottherolesmixedupLAD

After my last Alevel exam I was more relieved to learn that I had not indeed sharted during the exam as I had imagined than that I had actually finished school. cleanunderwearLAD

My pooing ability at work has gained me the "Turdinator" nickname. I've been in the job for 3 months. 3monthsandlovesapooLAD